It’s very common for kids to fight going to bed, and they often do this even if they are exhausted. Lots of families find bedtime turns into a struggle without being sure what’s causing it. Little things we do without thinking can actually make it more difficult for children to relax and fall asleep.

Kids are very affected by how things usually happen, according to experts in sleep. So, if their bedtime routine changes from night to night, or is full of too much activity, they’ll be more likely to refuse to sleep. Knowing what mistakes families make during bedtime will help you create evenings that are more peaceful, and go more easily.

Why bedtime routine mistakes affect children sleep habits

Kids need a regular schedule to know when it’s almost time for sleep. When going to bed is a bit of a guessing game, their bodies might have a harder time knowing they’re supposed to be getting sleepy. That often makes it take longer to fall asleep, makes them (and you!) frustrated, and leads to lots of pleas for just a little more time.

Sleep specialists for children will tell you that routines are excellent for setting internal body rhythms. Having things happen in the same way each night helps with good sleep and means less arguing at bedtime.

1. Keeping bedtime different every night

Lots of kids have trouble getting to sleep because their bedtime isn’t very steady. If bedtime is different all the time, it’s harder for children to become sleepy.

In fact, experts on sleep say doing things at the same time each night helps your body to get ready to relax, and a set bedtime will eventually mean it’s simpler to drift off.

2. Allowing too much screen time before bed

Looking at screens gets your brain going, and that can put off your body’s usual time to fall asleep. The strong light and quickly changing stuff on screens can be especially problematic for kids trying to wind down. Because of this, doctors and others who care for children’s health frequently suggest limiting screen time as bedtime approaches, to help them develop good sleep routines.

3. Starting bedtime too late when children are overtired

When you put kids to bed too late, they get too tired. This surprisingly tends to make them even more lively, and then it’s harder for them to fall asleep.

Kids who are extremely tired often find it harder to settle down to sleep because their bodies are full of too much activity.

4. Skipping calming activities in the bedtime routine for kids

A bedtime that doesn’t include things to help them wind down can feel fast paced and muddled. Reading, having a quiet conversation, or soft music are all good ways of letting a child know sleep is on its way.

Relaxation is encouraged, child development experts say, by doing the same calming things in the same order every night.

5. Using bedtime as a time for discipline or arguments

If you argue with your kids at bedtime, it can turn into a struggle. They’ll start to think of going to sleep as something to be worried about, not something nice and relaxing.

Family therapists (counselors) very commonly advise a peaceful, routine bedtime to make it harder for kids to refuse to go to sleep.

6. Giving in to repeated delays and requests

Lots of children will see how much they can get away with at bedtime, asking for a drink, something to eat, or a little more time awake. Saying yes to these requests over and over just stretches out the process of bedtime and makes it last longer and longer.

And specialists in children’s behaviour usually say that being firm about what you expect, while being gently consistent with it, is the best way to deal with this kind of thing.

7. Making bedtime routines too long or complicated

If a usual way of doing things has loads of stages, it can be difficult to keep up with. Kids can then get bored or their attention will wander.

What those in the know (people who study this sort of thing!) nearly always advise are easy, things-you-do-again-and-again routines that children can get their heads around.

8. Not adjusting the routine as children grow

And as kids grow, what they require shifts. A routine that was good earlier on might not be suitable for how they spend their time or how much get-up-and-go they have anymore.

Those who are professionals at parenting suggest looking at routines fairly often and changing little bits of them as necessary.

How to improve bedtime routines without adding stress

You don’t have to completely overhaul things to get a better bedtime going. Little things, like going to bed at the same time each night, cutting back on exciting activity before bed, and having a really straightforward routine, will likely help a lot. Specialists generally say to make changes slowly; that way kids can get used to them without getting too upset.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What are common bedtime routine mistakes?
A: Common bedtime routine mistakes include inconsistent sleep times, too much screen use, and skipping calming activities.

Q: Why do children resist sleep at night?
A: Children may resist sleep due to overstimulation, overtiredness, or unclear routines that make bedtime feel unpredictable.

Q: How can parents improve bedtime routines?
A: Parents can improve routines by keeping them simple, consistent, and calm while reducing distractions before sleep.

Q: How long should a bedtime routine be?
A: Most experts suggest a short and repeatable routine that lasts about 20 to 30 minutes.

Key Takeaway